Items Lost

I never intended to lose so many things.
Buttons, jackets, mittens, oh the many mittens.
Glasses. The ultimate paradox of losing glasses.
If only I had my glasses, maybe I could look for them.
I never meant to lose the trust of my best friend in junior high school.
I can’t decide if I meant to lose my innocence.
One the one hand, it made me sophisticated, intelligent, cool, cynical.
But then there are the days when I wonder why I was so eager to throw it away.
Cynicism makes you lonely, no matter how many cynics you are surrounded by.

Then there are the things I lost intentionally
That homework sheet – Oh sure Mrs. Peterson, I never got that homework sheet
And how could you hold me accountable for the homework I didn’t do when it wasn’t assigned?
Of course not.
There was my sister’s blue satin dress – so shiny and soft
I lost it, but then I helped it find itself in my closet.

My first kiss. All my life I dreamed of giving it away.
I used to walk by myself down the sandy shores of New Jersey
And fling my kisses into the ocean, who for all his roaring
Never did anything more than lap my feet.

Then all of the sudden it was gone.
I was fourteen. It was my birthday.
We were behind my daddy’s rose bushes.
And this boy, who chased me for months
Sprayed me more than that grouchy old ocean ever did
And then only several months later,
Lost memory of who I was.

I lost my first kiss. Intentionally, unintentionally. Either way, it is gone.