Pacing

Pacing

It seems like my life is out of control - speed wise.

Everything is coming so fast! I'm having the same shirking feeling that I felt when I first learned how to drive.

I started with a minivan in a parking lot. I lifted my foot off the break and the car lurched forward and even though I gripped the steering wheel, I didn't know if I knew how to turn it properly in order to avoid the curb. Furthermore, I was in a huge minivan and as I learned to drive I always had to be conscious of its big tail and cumbersome body.

Well I seem to be picking up a lot of things to do, stacking up bulk items in the trunk of my metaphorical minivan. There are certain activities and commitments I deem necessary to my career (and since I am going into such a difficult field, anything that can be roughly construed as helpful ends up categorized as necessary). Then since I am spending so much time working, I hate denying myself pleasure activities which I why I refuse to quit ballroom club even though it is completely unnecessary and why even in my busied state I am looking to work in a greenhouse. I need time for plain old fun.

So here I am, with so much stuff in the drunk of my minivan, it's spilling into the drivers area. Sometimes I need to break and I find that something has slipped beneath my foot that prevents me from pressing down.

Full speed ahead.

The biggest problem is I often feel weary as if I don't have the energy and capacity to handle everything I've taken on. I'm just rolling down the highway with cars going 70mph behind me and I'm frankly, running out of gas, yet I find myself able to run on empty sometimes. It is a gift that it keeps me from crashing but I don't know what the long term effects nor do I know how long I can keep it up.

But there is also the issue of perspective. The sides of the roads are in my life become blurry. I don't have time to look at them and I certainly can't turn around and look back.

Well then, it appears that I am most definitely not in control.

So should I be enjoying the ride?
I think so.
Where to?
Disneyland?
If my road is going where I really want it to, maybe I'll end up at Nickelodeon!

Dana

ps. My life is going so fast, yet my running is pitifully slow. I need to train a lot more if I hope to run a decent 5k for the upcoming turkey trot. Did you know that wild turkeys are actually very fast animals? Must must must keep up!

This is a beautiful stream that flows as fast as nature commands - I wish to be free flowing like the river!